Everyday sweetness

A 18 month old who rides in her stroller everywhere we go.  A place she can be buckled and contained.

The joy of finding a water fountain.

Making your sister cry because you won't give her a turn on her bike.

A big brother who will lift you up on his bike and take you for a ride.

Grace's favorite thing to do.  Ride like the wind with her brother.

Watching Super Why with your two older brothers.   Such sweetness in teaching your little brother to read.

And acting out the program.

Pancakes and strawberries for breakfast.

Almost ready for preschool.

A thoughtful boy before his long day of first grade.

And, lastly a four year old's favorite part of the day.  Time on the ipad!

Yep, between all the chaos and busyness of our days there are sweet moments.  Moments that I want to last forever!

Yellow Snow

The desert takes my breath away.   It's beauty is unexpected, full of color and life.

This Wyoming girl had no idea that Palo Verde trees burst into bloom painting every desert sky yellow.   

It looks like fall here.  Brilliant with color.

Arizona's yellow snow

So we spend every moment outside.  Even dragging our paints and creativity with us.

And, again I look out in my backyard and see the beauty around me.

Ever so thankful to be able to enjoy each day and each part of this beautiful place.

Fishing with Grammy and Gramps

When I see my boys with a fishing pole in hand my world is complete.   I love to watch them standing by the waters edge, waiting intently for a bite.

Grammy and Gramps came and stayed with us for two whole weeks.  We loved having them with us and we especially loved that they took us fishing.

Owen took catching a fish very seriously.   He could have stayed all day.   Two whole hours he stood and watched his line.   Waiting for the big fish.

Eli also wanted to fish and Gramps helped him cast it out and reel it back in.

Gabriel decided to fish his own way.     Sitting watching his bobber wasn't on his agenda.  He had other plans.

We had a wonderful day fishing in Anthem.    We packed a picnic lunch and enjoyed the beautiful Arizona day.   We are so lucky that we got to spend an afternoon with Grammy and Gramps.

Even if we didn't catch a fish!

Fast Cars

A little boy in green who loves to win.  An older brother in black that cheered on his brother even when his own car wasn't winning.  This smile is a smile of triumph.   His blue and gold car beat every car racing down the track, every time.   His blue and gold car even beat most of the older kids and won 4th overall.   I don't think any 7 year old could be any prouder then Owen was that day.

The boys and Bryan worked on their cars for several weeks before the big race day.  

Choosing a design, sanding, and painting.

Finally finishing them the morning before the race.

Excited to get to race their cars against their friends.   On the way to the race the boys gave each other a pep talk.   Gabriel told Owen, "I don't care who wins, we just need a Dahl win."   Giving each other a high five and hoping for the best.

We all waited patiently for the big race to start.

Brothers cheering on the Dahl team!

Ready, Set, Go.

Straight to the finish line to record their time.

So excited and a special high five from Uncle Brett.

A fun morning racing cars and spending time with family.    And, I have to admit winning made it even a little more exciting.

3:00

At 2:00 in the afternoon I am patient and loving.   This is when Grace is taking her nap, Eli is watching Super Why and the big boys are away at school.   When dinner is cooking on the stove and I'm snuggled on my couch with my notebook and bible.  I congratulate myself on my perfectness.

At 3:00 I'm  thrown into the chaos of 4 children.  Gabe and Owen come home from school and Grace starts stirring in her crib.

At 3:15 Gabe is running around the house yelling because he can't find his Pokeman cards.   He refuses to get ready for baseball without those cards.  We have to leave in a few minutes to make it to baseball practice on time.  Grace is screaming up in her crib waiting for me to come get her.   Owen is pulling Eli's hair, laughing, and making him scream.   My phone starts ringing.  

I am no longer patient and loving.   I yell at Gabe to find his shoes.   I yell at Owen to stop teasing his brother.   I yell as I'm running up the stairs to get Grace.  

When I walk into her room she feels my tension.   She screams louder.   I have to change her diaper.  Gabe is still not getting ready for baseball and Owen is still teasing his brother.    My heart is beating fast and my face is flushed with anger.   We have 15 minutes to get to baseball practice.

I wish I could have taken a deep breath and recentered myself.  I wish I could have turned my yelling into something else.     More than anything, I just wanted to be that calm, assured, patient woman I was just one hour before.

Instead, I herded the children in the car as best I could.   I turned up the radio really loud and informed them all not to talk.   My car flooded with music and I finally started to breath.   Those 15 minutes in the car was what I needed.    All my children were quiet and buckled safetly in their car seats.  I had control again.   I could deal with this.

Motherhood is breaking me.  Breaking me open and exposing parts that I hide even from myself.   My walls of protection and comfort are gone and so is my self control.  And, it's during these intense moments that I can't pretend.  My true heart is revealed.   This is where I need grace.   Grace, love and forgiveness.

Tonight as I cradled Grace in my arms and carried her up to bed I looked at my day with gratitude instead of guilt.    I know I will find the grace I need in gratitude.

I was thankful for my afternoon.

The pinch the boys gave me because I wasn't wearing green on St. Patrick's day.

Laughter as I pinched them back.

Tuna Fish sandwiches during baseball practice.

The warm sun and palm trees that surrounded us as we ran on the playground.

A little girl who climbed to the top of the twirly slide and screamed all the way down.

Sand in Eli's hair from his older brother.

Gabe's baseball team cheering him on.

Watching the little ones run up to their daddy when they see him at practice.

Time with Bryan after everyone is sleeping.

And, tomorrow when 3:00 rolls around, I will take a deep breath and remind myself of all there is to be thankful for.