The journey

Lately, I have been thinking about the journey that I'm on. It has been such an amazing journey, this journey that I call my life. It's been so unexpected in a wonderful way.

If I could have had a sneak peak into my life when I was a teenager, I wouldn't have believed what I saw. I never pictured myself as a wife, mother, and stay at home mom. When I thought of how my life would look this is defiantly not what I imagined. You see, I thought that women who stayed at home with their children were just doing it because they had nothing better to do. It never entered my mind that I would stay at home with my children as a choice. That it is a real job, the most important job that I can ever imagine.

I was so different in my 20's. My life and focus was on me. I received a Master's degree, I traveled extensively through Mexico and South America, and made a life for me, about me. Thank goodness this road in my journey changed. God had a better plan in mind for me but first, I had to learn to stop focusing on me.

After I had Gabriel, I was determined to continue my life as I knew it. I was going to continue being a social worker and living my life for me. Every morning, I rushed off to work determined to control my destiny and not give into my motherly instincts. You see, whenever I dropped Gabe off at daycare every cell in my body screamed, don't leave him. And every morning, I left him because my journey was going to be about me and what I wanted at that time.

God had a different road for me to travel and since I wouldn't give in, he took control. Owen arrived. God took the control away from me when working didn't make finacial sense anymore. I had to stay home but, I continued to fight against this change. I didn't feel important as a stay at home mom. There was no salary, no compensation, no tangible rewards. My journey was about me and staying at home didn't satisfy that inner need for attention. I was cleaning, changing diapers, wiping noses, pushing swings, reading books, picking up toys, making macaroni and cheese, and taking kids to preschool. None of these things were about me and I didn't like it.

So, I took control. I started doing all sorts of things for myself. I joined a mom's group and became the Moppetts director. This gave me all sorts of attention and made me feel important. It also took hours of my time. Other things suffered. Mainly my home, time with Bryan, and time with the kids. I also was involved in several other activities that took hours of my time each day. And, if I wasn't doing any of these things, I was with my friends. We would have play dates and I would get adult time with them. This always satisfied that need to feel important.

Again, God had a different plan. A different road for me to travel. He took control and I had no other choice but to surrender to his plan. He moved me away from my family, my friends, and my busyness to a place called Thornton, CO.

This detour has not been easy but it has put me in the exact place that I need to be. In this place, I give my time and my life to my husband and my children. This is what makes me happy. This is my purpose. This brings me great joy!

Today, I am so thankful for this road that I am on. Today, I have surrendered myself to this part of my journey. Today, by choice, I loved my husband and my children with everything inside of me. No distraction, no detours, no u turns only pure love.

Mess

Today we had Gabe to school at 7:30 am. After the trip to the school, we came home and read books, played, and made a mess in the living room. Kids are so messy!!

We picked up Gabriel at 10:30 and went to the library. We picked out books, played, and met some new friends.

We came home at noon and and made lunch. Chicken fingers, green beans, and apples. YUMMMMMM.

Then we went swimming. Gabe stayed under the water the whole time with his snorkle. I didn't even see him the entire hour that we were swimming. That kid loves to be in the water. Owen for the first time put his head under the water. I was very proud of him. Eli chased the ball around the baby section of the pool. We were all wet and tired. 2 out of 3 fell asleep on the way home.

Who has time to pick up this messy living room? We sure didn't have time today. We were to busy!

Boys and Trees

I really don't think that I need to say much about this subject. Boys and climbing trees go together like peanut butter and jelly. This particular tree is on our porch of our little condo.

When Gabe wants some alone time, he will climb the tree and move the chair so that Owen can't come up. Owen cries and Gabe yells down. "I just need some time to myself." Owen just can't understand this and cries until he comes down. There is not much alone time or time to yourself when you little brother stands at the bottom of the tree crying until you come down.

How to eat a choclate donut

Grammy and Gramps came to visit us this weekend. One of the best parts of the visit was the chocolate donuts .Gramps calls it "huntin food". Owen lives for "huntin food" and he has perfected the technique of eating it. I felt the need to share this technique for future reference.

Place the donut face side up and start from the center. Take a bite of the frosting and sprinkles. The trick is, don't eat very much of the cake part. Just he frosting and sprinkles. Eat around the whole donut. When your done set the left over part on the table and let everyone know "I don't eat the udder part".

Oh, the joys of childhood.

My breath is whining?

Owen has entered the land of meltdowns. I know that every kids goes through this stage. I just never thought that my sweet little Owen would ever throw these kinds of fits. It's hard to believe that my perfect little angel can turn into the Tasmanian Devil.

Every mom knows and understands these fits. Some of the symptoms are screaming, hitting, laying on the floor, face turning red, and spitting. These fits never make sense and even if you tried to appease your fit throwing child they would find something else to throw a fit about. In their world, it is time to have a good fit and the best thing to do is ignore it.

This particular fit throwing morning was beautiful. The perfect morning to ride your bike and go pick your brother up from school or so I thought. I could tell that Owen was tired, but I wanted him to get some fresh air. So, I told him he had to ride his bike to go and pick up Gabe. In retrospect......big mistake.

From the moment he mounted his bike he was crying. He was riding his bike and screaming. I kept asking him "Owen, what's wrong, why are you crying?" There really wasn't a good answer. He just kept saying "my breath is whining". My breath is whining? what does that mean? I'm not sure I will ever really know but in Owens world it means, I'm having a meltdown.

With my great mommy wisdom, I thought, I will take care of this. I have to stop this fit. "Owen", I said "if your breath doesn't stop whining you won't be able to ride your bike to Gabe's school". I thought for sure he would straighten up. He loves to ride his bike. Boy, was I wrong. I had to follow through with my threat so we parked his bike beside a tree and left it behind.

Man oh man, this just increased the meltdown by about 50 notches. Now he was screaming at the top of his lungs "I want my bike, I want my bike". Decision time. We had 10 minutes to get to Gabe's school. Not enough time to go back and get the bike or to return the fit thrower back home. We had to just keep walking. Screaming child and all.

I just want to apologize to my mother who thought she was going to take a nice relaxing walk to Gabe's school. Owen screamed all the way to the school and all the way home. When we did return to his bike, he didn't want it. There was no way around this meltdown.

I always judged these types of fits until I became a mother. I thought, that mother should really get control of her child. If that was my child, he wouldn't be screaming at the top of his lungs. At this stage in the game, I have accepted these fits as a part of life and I try and ignore them as much as possible.

Now,we have a new expression around out house. When someone is crying all you have to do is ask "Is your breath whining?" It puts a smile on every one's face. I suppose that everyone breath whines at some point.

mmmmmmmmmmm

Everyday little Eli's personality is getting bigger and bigger. He is starting to have favorite things, laugh at certain jokes, and say little words.

His new favorite sound/word is MMMMMMM. He does this whenever he's hungry or sees a food that looks really yummy. The first couple of time he said it, I didn't connect what he was doing. I thought he was just making noises. Just the other day when he was sitting in my lap looking at some choclate and saying MMMMMMMMM, I knew he was actually saying, "mom, that looks really good, can I have some?"

Today he crawled up to me as I was making breakfast, locked eyes with me and said "mmmmmmmmmm". And, this afternoon he saw Owen with a rice crispie treat and his MMMMMMMM got really LOUD. Enough said, in the high chair you go and let's bring on the food. This communication is so much better then crying!

Here is another favorite activity. Driving. He loves to sit with me in the front seat of a car and drive. He gets the biggest smile on his face. He also has a little toy with a steering wheel that has become his favorite. When he sits on the floor driving it he even makes a car noise. Is this just bred into boys? I'm sure that I never taught any of them to make car noises and all three played this game. How do they learn this stuff? It's just another wonder in my land of boys.

Just two friends

All you need for a play date is a hill, skateboard, and a good snack to share after playing outside all afternoon. This is Jake, Owens friend that he met at Gabe's school. Jake has a sister who also goes to kindergarten. Everyday after we drop Gabe off at school, Owen and Jake play together at the school playground.

Today Jake came over for a play date. They had so much fun.