I sit in the dark. The glow of the computer screen as my light. All my boys asleep upstairs. Their gentle snoring assuring me that my day is done.
I sit here and my back aches. I stretch forward to get the kinks out. I feel every sensation. My skin stretching, my baby kicking, my breath going in and out.
I think about the baby girl inside. I try and picture her. What she will look like? Who will she become? How will my family change when she arrives? I know her time to emerge is coming soon.
Then wishing it would last longer.....this pregnancy. I only wish this for selfish reasons. You see, her every need is met in this moment. After she is born, I will not be able to meet all her needs. There will be late nights, early mornings, and the "witching hour" in which she will cry and I won't know the reason. I will rock her, and sing to her, and hold her. I will become frustrated and we will both fight back our tears. And, as she grows....so will I.
I will learn to manage 4 instead of 3. It will be an uphill climb. There will be moments when I will want to quit. But, I know in the struggle I will learn to manage. We will all manage, as a family, each in our own way.
Tonight as I feel the fullness of my pregnancy, I know how blessed I am. I am expectant. I am thankful. Waiting each day for a little girl who will change all of us in ways we can't even imagine.
I sit here and my back aches. I stretch forward to get the kinks out. I feel every sensation. My skin stretching, my baby kicking, my breath going in and out.
I think about the baby girl inside. I try and picture her. What she will look like? Who will she become? How will my family change when she arrives? I know her time to emerge is coming soon.
Then wishing it would last longer.....this pregnancy. I only wish this for selfish reasons. You see, her every need is met in this moment. After she is born, I will not be able to meet all her needs. There will be late nights, early mornings, and the "witching hour" in which she will cry and I won't know the reason. I will rock her, and sing to her, and hold her. I will become frustrated and we will both fight back our tears. And, as she grows....so will I.
I will learn to manage 4 instead of 3. It will be an uphill climb. There will be moments when I will want to quit. But, I know in the struggle I will learn to manage. We will all manage, as a family, each in our own way.
Tonight as I feel the fullness of my pregnancy, I know how blessed I am. I am expectant. I am thankful. Waiting each day for a little girl who will change all of us in ways we can't even imagine.
Kris, this is beautiful! I remember well that feeling - such a bittersweet one. Thank you for your sweet comment on my latest post; I, too, wish we lived closer so we could spend more time together. It sounds like we would have much to share! I think of you often - take good care of yourself in the last weeks of your pregnancy :)
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