Breath. Breath deep. Breath deeper. Tonight I have to keep telling myself that. The silence in my house isn't helping me. Most nights I would be enjoying this time of peace and quiet while my kids sleep soundly in their little beds. No screaming, no whining, no fighting, no yelling.
But, I can't seem to slow down enough to enjoy my time. There is too much to do. To plan. To think about. My mind is filled with each child, a husband who is in another state, our upcoming move, selling and buying a new house, finishing up the school year..... This is really just to much. I am only just barely surviving.
But, I don't want to just survive. I want to enjoy. Enjoy my kids. Enjoy all the blessings that God has given me.
So, today, for the first time in many days, I took that time. On purpose. To be intentional. To stop talking on the phone, browsing the internet for houses, doing the dishes, organizing my kitchen, throwing in a load of laundry. I stopped it all. I grabbed my baby girl out of her high chair and headed out to my new hammock. And, we layed in the hammock and let the sunshine warm us up.
We sang Old McDonald while we rocked back and forth.
Until the boys joined us. Then we laughed and were crowded and yelled at each other to scoot over. Feet, legs, and arms all entangled. It got noisy and loud and there wasn't enough room. But, I stayed on and held onto each one and we sang "The Ants Go Marching". We made up our own rhymes and we laughed at them. We soaked up the sunshine and learned how to balance on a hammock with 4.
Tomorow will be the same. I will have to stop. I will have to put everything aside and do what is important.
I will have to trust that our move will be easy. My husband will make it home safety this weekend. We will find a house in Phoenix to call our own. And, this is the hard part. Trusting that everything will work itself out. But, if I don't.....I may go crazy. Crazy with worry. Crazy that my life is no longer my own and under my control. Crazy with 4 small children and a large house to maintain.
And, when I take a "hammock moment" things don't look so complicated. Because I am so blessed. So blessed to be able to lay around with my kids and sing crazy songs. So blessed that we have such wonderful opportunities. So blessed that we have so much love....and we know how to share it.
But, I can't seem to slow down enough to enjoy my time. There is too much to do. To plan. To think about. My mind is filled with each child, a husband who is in another state, our upcoming move, selling and buying a new house, finishing up the school year..... This is really just to much. I am only just barely surviving.
But, I don't want to just survive. I want to enjoy. Enjoy my kids. Enjoy all the blessings that God has given me.
So, today, for the first time in many days, I took that time. On purpose. To be intentional. To stop talking on the phone, browsing the internet for houses, doing the dishes, organizing my kitchen, throwing in a load of laundry. I stopped it all. I grabbed my baby girl out of her high chair and headed out to my new hammock. And, we layed in the hammock and let the sunshine warm us up.
We sang Old McDonald while we rocked back and forth.
Until the boys joined us. Then we laughed and were crowded and yelled at each other to scoot over. Feet, legs, and arms all entangled. It got noisy and loud and there wasn't enough room. But, I stayed on and held onto each one and we sang "The Ants Go Marching". We made up our own rhymes and we laughed at them. We soaked up the sunshine and learned how to balance on a hammock with 4.
Tomorow will be the same. I will have to stop. I will have to put everything aside and do what is important.
I will have to trust that our move will be easy. My husband will make it home safety this weekend. We will find a house in Phoenix to call our own. And, this is the hard part. Trusting that everything will work itself out. But, if I don't.....I may go crazy. Crazy with worry. Crazy that my life is no longer my own and under my control. Crazy with 4 small children and a large house to maintain.
And, when I take a "hammock moment" things don't look so complicated. Because I am so blessed. So blessed to be able to lay around with my kids and sing crazy songs. So blessed that we have such wonderful opportunities. So blessed that we have so much love....and we know how to share it.
Moving can be so stressful. I'll be praying. The Lord is ahead of you, Friend.
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