Just writing tonight. No stopping....just writing out my words and not editing them. Just writing what is there in my heart without second guessing it or correcting it. I needed to write tonight.
Sometimes so much happens in a day that you feel like you have aged 10 years. 10 years in 24 hours. It has only been 1 day yet so much has happened.
I watched my Eli walk across the stage at his school proclaiming that he wanted to be a Fireman and graduating from Kindergarten. It seems just yesterday that I was up worrying about him during the night. Worrying that he would never be able to find his place in school. That it would all be a failure and hard and impossible. None of those things happened. In fact, the opposite happened. I watched him blossom and bloom and find a place in his world. I watched him claim his place as Eli Dahl in Mrs. Doyle's class and then I watched him exceed my every expectation. Reading like a champion, making friends, coming home with a smile on his face. Oh, how I love that little boy.
I took my kids out to lunch and then to Wal Mart after school. I stood in the fishing aisle in Wal Mart and watched my boys pick out fishing lures, baits, and extra line. I watched them be the men they will become. Standing back and peeking from the aisle over just to watch them talk their talk without their mother hanging over their every word.
I spoke with a women in Ohio today about my healing journey and encouraged her during hers. Not being able to explain the reason that I have healed but telling her about my faith and trust and where it has led me. To this place in my life where I don't get migraine headaches everyday and I can feel the energy and life flowing in my veins. A place where I can lift my body off the couch without it taking every amount of effort in my soul. A place where I can help others heal because I am not to sick anymore.
I caught a glimpse into my son's world through my husbands words. My husband, he is so very wise. He spoke those words about Gabe into my heart and I was able to see how much he loves him. Deep to his core, he loves him. He understands Gabe like noone else could and I am so thankful to him. Gabe is struggling at school with friends. I try to help him but I just don't really understand what is happening. Bryan understood. Bryan could see him so clearly and I was so thankful for him today. That he could explain things to me so I could see things clearly also. It was a moment that I am so thankful for today. A gift given to me that taught me so much about both of them. To be able to see clearly into a child's heart through the words of a father is a gift indeed.
I watched Owen splash and run and laugh today in the sunshine. I watched his eyes shine as he threw the football with his friends at the pool. I saw pure joy. Pure, simple joy that only childhood can reveal.
I layed in a toddler bed with my 3 year old. I layed in that bed with her and wrapped my arms around her. I whispered in her ear that I always wanted a girl and God sent me her. I whispered how very special she is and how much I love her. She looked back in my eyes and said "God sent me to you, mommy". My heart got so big in that little bed that I thought I would never get out. I told her that I was sorry for losing my temper with the boys this afternoon. I said that I shouldn't have yelled at them like that. She wrapped her arms around me a little tighter and said "It's OK". Then, I took a breath. A deep breath and felt Grace pour over me. God's Grace.
How has so much happened in one day? How is it that these moments spoke volumes in my heart today? Maybe it was because it was the last day of school and after today it will all change again? Or maybe it was because we packed a lot into one day? Whatever the reason, I can only feel thankful and humbled by every moment that God has given me. Each one of these moments are gift that I won't take for granted. And now, at 11:30 I will head to bed with my heart and mind full of thankfulness.
Sometimes so much happens in a day that you feel like you have aged 10 years. 10 years in 24 hours. It has only been 1 day yet so much has happened.
I watched my Eli walk across the stage at his school proclaiming that he wanted to be a Fireman and graduating from Kindergarten. It seems just yesterday that I was up worrying about him during the night. Worrying that he would never be able to find his place in school. That it would all be a failure and hard and impossible. None of those things happened. In fact, the opposite happened. I watched him blossom and bloom and find a place in his world. I watched him claim his place as Eli Dahl in Mrs. Doyle's class and then I watched him exceed my every expectation. Reading like a champion, making friends, coming home with a smile on his face. Oh, how I love that little boy.
I took my kids out to lunch and then to Wal Mart after school. I stood in the fishing aisle in Wal Mart and watched my boys pick out fishing lures, baits, and extra line. I watched them be the men they will become. Standing back and peeking from the aisle over just to watch them talk their talk without their mother hanging over their every word.
I spoke with a women in Ohio today about my healing journey and encouraged her during hers. Not being able to explain the reason that I have healed but telling her about my faith and trust and where it has led me. To this place in my life where I don't get migraine headaches everyday and I can feel the energy and life flowing in my veins. A place where I can lift my body off the couch without it taking every amount of effort in my soul. A place where I can help others heal because I am not to sick anymore.
I caught a glimpse into my son's world through my husbands words. My husband, he is so very wise. He spoke those words about Gabe into my heart and I was able to see how much he loves him. Deep to his core, he loves him. He understands Gabe like noone else could and I am so thankful to him. Gabe is struggling at school with friends. I try to help him but I just don't really understand what is happening. Bryan understood. Bryan could see him so clearly and I was so thankful for him today. That he could explain things to me so I could see things clearly also. It was a moment that I am so thankful for today. A gift given to me that taught me so much about both of them. To be able to see clearly into a child's heart through the words of a father is a gift indeed.
I watched Owen splash and run and laugh today in the sunshine. I watched his eyes shine as he threw the football with his friends at the pool. I saw pure joy. Pure, simple joy that only childhood can reveal.
I layed in a toddler bed with my 3 year old. I layed in that bed with her and wrapped my arms around her. I whispered in her ear that I always wanted a girl and God sent me her. I whispered how very special she is and how much I love her. She looked back in my eyes and said "God sent me to you, mommy". My heart got so big in that little bed that I thought I would never get out. I told her that I was sorry for losing my temper with the boys this afternoon. I said that I shouldn't have yelled at them like that. She wrapped her arms around me a little tighter and said "It's OK". Then, I took a breath. A deep breath and felt Grace pour over me. God's Grace.
How has so much happened in one day? How is it that these moments spoke volumes in my heart today? Maybe it was because it was the last day of school and after today it will all change again? Or maybe it was because we packed a lot into one day? Whatever the reason, I can only feel thankful and humbled by every moment that God has given me. Each one of these moments are gift that I won't take for granted. And now, at 11:30 I will head to bed with my heart and mind full of thankfulness.
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