How preschool has changed us

A little four year old boy.   The little boy who used to be the baby but had to give this role to his little sister.

Who has two older brothers.

A little boy who likes things just a certain way.   The way he had it yesterday and the day before and the day before.   His banana peeled just right.   His green crocs placed on his feet just so.  Syrup on his toast.....never jelly.

 

He finds comfort in repetition and sameness.

A little boy who can focus on something for hours.   Letters, Angry Birds, and now a show called Super Why.   His love for "it" is all consuming.   He can think of nothing else and it brings him so much happiness when he is engaged in it.

We are so different, Eli and I.   I don't understand him and am so easily frustrated by our day to day struggles.    Eli, why can't you just try to eat something new?   Don't you get tired of cheese and fruit all the time?   Eli, why can't you wear these nice new black shoes that actually fit you?   Eli, why do you want to play Angry Birds for the third hour in a row?   Aren't you tired of playing Angry Birds?  Eli, I really don't understand why you are screaming, this blue cup is just fine, I don't have time to wash the yellow one.

There are days when Bryan comes home and sees that look in my eyes.   He knows.    He will scoop Eli up and take him outside.   He knows Eli and I need some time apart.  Eli can just be with his dad.   No power struggle.  

The Dr. recommended that Eli start preschool.   She encouraged me to enroll him right away.   She knew he would be able to relate to the other children and have something of his own.

I found excuses to keep him home.   Preschool cost to much money.  He's not ready for preschool yet.   How will they fix his snack just right?   Who will understand him when he gets frustrated?  He isn't even potty trained yet.

The assumptions that I had about Eli and preschool were wrong.  I now realize I was only holding him back by wanting to keep him home and I am so happy that I finally enrolled him in preschool.

This is his third week and I have never seen a little boy more excited about school.   He absolutely LOVES it.  

He is so proud of himself and would love if he could go to school everyday. 

He has found his place.   A place to meet new friends, learn, and explore.   I am very proud of him.

 I think about Eli and know that I don't always understand him.  I also know in those really hard moments I need to put away MY stubbornness and unwillingness to change.     This is not easy for me to do.  It means I have to let go of myself a little more and love Eli the way he needs to be loved.  

I am so thankful for this little boy.   This little boy who is teaching me to love, to grow, and be loved.