A trip that revived my soul. Went down deep and lifted me up like nothing else could. The sand in this place left traces in my heart that brought healing and wholeness.
My husband knew. In his kindness and understanding he knew what I needed. He found us a condo on the beach in San Diego. He encouraged me and helped me prepare for our trip. He brought me to a place that opened up my soul and helped me to see things clearly.
Traveling always does this. I long to hear the click of the car seats, the steady rhythm of the car tires on the road. It always opens places in me that are pinned up and frustrated. This time it was sadness, an aching in my heart for my family at Christmas time.
Then out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of a Christmas tree. A lone Christmas tree at the end of a pier. I was so tired of Christmas trees and all they symbolized that I almost turned away in disgust. But, I didn't. I took a deep breath and looked out at that tree. I looked at it in the fullness of the moment and put all my sadness behind me. Then I saw it. I saw it clearly. It was beautiful.
I realized that I was stuck. Stuck thinking that Christmas couldn't be Christmas unless I was in Wyoming surrounded by everything that I had known for the past 38 years. I didn't want to enjoy a tree that wasn't sitting beside Grandma and Pop's fireplace and I couldn't see beyond this.
I loved the salty air, the sound of the waves going in and out and that one Christmas tree that started to symbolize my love for a Christmas far from home. A different Christmas. One where I was surrounded by my husband and four beautiful children. Christmas in Pacific beach where my heart started to open up and my joy returned.
And, each day as we built sand castles and ran in the waves I looked up at my tree and smiled. I was so thankful for it because it reminded me to close my eyes, breath deep, and enjoy each moment for what it was....not what I expected it to be.
My husband knew. In his kindness and understanding he knew what I needed. He found us a condo on the beach in San Diego. He encouraged me and helped me prepare for our trip. He brought me to a place that opened up my soul and helped me to see things clearly.
Traveling always does this. I long to hear the click of the car seats, the steady rhythm of the car tires on the road. It always opens places in me that are pinned up and frustrated. This time it was sadness, an aching in my heart for my family at Christmas time.
The moment our sandy toes started exploring the beach my sadness started to disappear.
Then out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of a Christmas tree. A lone Christmas tree at the end of a pier. I was so tired of Christmas trees and all they symbolized that I almost turned away in disgust. But, I didn't. I took a deep breath and looked out at that tree. I looked at it in the fullness of the moment and put all my sadness behind me. Then I saw it. I saw it clearly. It was beautiful.
I realized that I was stuck. Stuck thinking that Christmas couldn't be Christmas unless I was in Wyoming surrounded by everything that I had known for the past 38 years. I didn't want to enjoy a tree that wasn't sitting beside Grandma and Pop's fireplace and I couldn't see beyond this.
I loved the salty air, the sound of the waves going in and out and that one Christmas tree that started to symbolize my love for a Christmas far from home. A different Christmas. One where I was surrounded by my husband and four beautiful children. Christmas in Pacific beach where my heart started to open up and my joy returned.
And, each day as we built sand castles and ran in the waves I looked up at my tree and smiled. I was so thankful for it because it reminded me to close my eyes, breath deep, and enjoy each moment for what it was....not what I expected it to be.
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