What really matters?

As I stand in the laundry room folding little girl clothes I have to stop and take a deep breath.   All these clothes will again be dirty next Friday waiting to be folded.   And, the next Friday and the next Friday.

Those dishes in the sink from lunch will stack high by dinner time and stare at me late into the evening.      And, that bean bag exploded again in my bedroom.   Grace and Eli found the little beads and spread them all over my room.   I shut the door and walked away but, when they will be there when I again have to go into my room tonight.

I sat and put each book back on the bookshelf this morning.   Nice and neat.     Grace doesn't like the books to go on the bookshelf she marched over there and took each one down one by one, covering my living room floor in books again.

Oh, yes and the yogurt that is stuck to the kitchen floor.   It is hard as cement.  It will take a sandblaster to get that stuff off.   Maybe I will have time to work on that tomorrow?

Yet there are parts of my day that really matter. 

The part where I helped Gabe get ready for swim team this morning.   We packed his backpack and I walked him out to his bike just as the sun came up.   We shared a quiet morning together before the little kids got up.

The part where Owen stood on the high dive for the first time looking over the edge ready to jump in.  Watching him hit the clear, blue water and swim to the side with a huge smile on his face.

The part where Eli came up to me in the middle of the day and told me that he loved me.  We sat together for several minutes until he ran off again to pay with his brothers.

The part where Grace ran into the kitchen screaming "Ungry"  "Ungy".   Being able to tell me when she wants something to eat or drink is such a blessing.  And, she is now sitting in a big girl seat.  No more high chair for Grace!

I can look at my day and feel completely overwhelmed forgetting everything that really matters.   All the smiles and laughter.  The learning and understanding.   The things that make us a family.   I forget how blessed I am to be able to stay home with these four children.   To fold their laundry and clean up their dishes.   To pick up their toys and tuck them in at night.  To read books to them and watch them learn new things.

My days don't include accomplishments and to do lists that get completed.  They don't include a clean perfect house.   They don't include doing simple things for myself like taking a shower or sleeping in.   It has all forced me to become selfless.   To give and find joy in small, simple moments.   To refocus myself and push ahead even when things feel overwhelming and impossible.     To love others instead of myself.  And, this is what matters.