me and migraines

This picture explains how I feel today.  Me with a migraine headache.  This dog's expression says it all.

Even though I feel terrible, I know there is a purpose in my life for my migraine headaches.  I'm not sure what that purpose is and I don't know that I will ever know.  Only God knows their purpose and the reason for the pain they cause.  Sometimes when I am in the middle of a headache, I cry out in frustration, "Why would you put me through this terrible pain"?  "Lord, I can't take care of my children, I can't take care of my husband, or my home".   "Please take this pain away".

But, there is one thing that I do know for sure.  I do know that these headaches have completely changed my life.  They have changed my thinking about health, food, and healthy living.  Three years ago my naturopathic Dr. discovered that I had food intolerances that caused my headaches and this changed my life.  Every meal that I cook, I cook differently.  Every morsel of food that is eaten by me and my family is carefully planned and scrutinized.  We are almost 100% organic and have been eating mostly wild meat (elk, moose, and deer).   I also add "secret ingredients" to all of our food.  These include flax seeds, sweet potatoes, and spinach.  And, for the past three years, I have been on a gluten free diet.  All of these changes have made me a better person in so many ways.  First of all, I do feel much, much better.  I have more energy and for a span of about 3 years, my headaches had gotten better.  Also, I know that my family is much healthier because of these changes and this is a really good thing.

About 2 months ago, I started experiencing my headaches again on a regular basis.  I was very sick and had a headache on and off for about 1 month.  I was suffering and my family was suffering.   Being this sick makes me realize just how important my health really is.  I just can't be sick.  I have three little children that depend on me.

I went to a medical Dr and they prescribed me a drug called Topomax to help prevent these headaches.  I took it for about a week and became even more sick.   I walked around in a fog, I couldn't think or function.  So, I decided to call my Naturopathic Dr. in Billings.  She started me on a detox diet and I am two weeks into it.  I have one week left.  Three years ago I did this detox diet.  I remember it being one of the hardest things that I ever did.  This time around it hasn't been as hard.  Trust me I'm not saying it is easy.  My detox diet protocol is to only eat fruits and vegtables for three weeks.  I may also have one protein in the evening which may include beans, fish, or organic chicken.  No bread, no sugar, no corn, no potatoes, nothing out of a can or jar.  All fresh and organic.  Going to the mall with my sister last weekend was a killer.  On the way through the food court I could smell all the french fries, cinnabons, and carmel corn.  But, I held strong.  I held strong and had a salad for lunch.  And, I'm holding strong today.  Only 1 week left....I can do this.

I'm confident that God is teaching me to be a better person through this.  I am confident that there is a purpose in my pain and that I am doing the right thing by learning more about my health and body.  I am learning to be healthy and bringing my family along for the journey, this I feel good about.  In the core of my being, I trust that I will be able to understand my headaches better and learn a lot about myself.  Yes, the concept of taking a pill and making my headaches go away sounds so much easier but I believe it is so much more complicated than this.  I am trusting that I am doing the right things and making sacrifices for my overall health and the health of my family.  Yes, God has a plan in this.  It doesn't seem to be an easy one.  It's one that is shaping me and bending me in ways that I didn't imagine possible but, it is a good plan just as He promises.  And, I will put my faith in that.